Tips
Bullying among children is
aggressive behavior that is persistent, intentional, and involves an
imbalance of power or strength. Children who are bullied need clear
messages of support from adults, in school and at home. Although we want
children to be strong and assertive so that they can stand up to kids
who bully, adults must realize that many children aren't ready to do
this. Adults play critical roles in helping children who are bullied and
in creating a healthy, safe climate in school.
How can you help a child (or
children) who is bullied?
Don't do further damage by lending too much support in public. Children
are concerned about what their peer group sees and knows. It may be more
helpful to lend your supportive words and gestures in private.
Spend time with the child being bullied. Learn about what's been going
on. Listen. Get the facts (who, what, when, where, and how) and assess
the child's feelings about the bullying. Is this the first time he or
she has been hurt by bullying, or is this something that's been going on
for a while? Recognize that this discussion may be difficult for the
child. Tell him / her that you are sorry about what happened. Assure the
child that it's not his or her fault.
Praise the child for their courage to discuss bullying incidents with
you. Explain how helpful they are being by providing this important
information, not only for themselves, but also for the rest of the
students and staff.
Ask the child what he or she needs to feel safe. Those who are bullied
may feel powerless, scared, and helpless. Give this child a voice.
Follow through and grant their requests, where possible.
Emphasize the confidential nature of your discussion and be clear about
who will and will not be given this information. Get additional facts
about the incident(s) from other adults or children, so the bullied
child doesn't feel that he or she could be easily identified as the sole
reporter of the abuse. Protect this child in conversations with the
child / children who bully. Don't reveal his or her identity, if
possible. Rather, explain that you've learned about the bullying from a
number of sources, including other children.
Keep notes.
Communicate with colleagues about the bullying incident. Other staff
members who have contact with the child who was bullied can also lend
support and assistance. Ask them to continue their observations to be
sure that the bullying has stopped. Also encourage them to communicate
progress or further incidents to all of the appropriate staff members.
Don't force a meeting between the child who is bullied and the children
who bullied them. Such meetings can cause much further harm. Forced
apologies don't help.
Provide as much information as you can about your “next steps” for the
victim. Information is helpful for the child being bullied to regain a
sense of safety and control. Urge the child to report any further
incidents of bullying that involve the same or different children.
Encourage and support the child who is bullied in making friends. One of
the most important bullying prevention tools is helping each child at
school to have a good friend to be with and talk to.
Explore how the child parents / guardians may be of support to them.
Many children keep incidents of bullying to themselves and don't tell
their parents / guardians. Explain that if their parents / guardians
know, more support may be available.
Talk with parents / guardians, if appropriate, about your concerns.
When incidents of bullying have been proven, follow through on your
schools Code of Behaviour and / or Anti-Bullying Policy.
Make a referral, if needed. Bullying can be traumatic, just as other
forms of abuse can be. Assess, or have another professional assess, how
much support and assistance this student may need. Talk with your school
counselor about a counseling or mental health referral. Err on the side
of offering more services, rather than fewer. Bullying is no longer
viewed as a rite of passage that all kids just have to endure. It is a
form of abuse that can cause psychological, physical, and academic
problems for children who are bullied.
Make sure you follow up with a student who has been bullied. Let the
student know that you are a resource for him or her and that you plan to
“check in” with them in two to three days and beyond.
